Friday, 31 January 2014

Best day of the week! It's F(ryan)day




Yes it's finally F(Ryan)day and another weekend is looming large! This one is not going to be as 'large' as last weekend that I know for sure,  How do I know this? well, because I am not having any vino or champers or dirty martinis, in fact this weekend I am going totally sober. Yes looks as if it may be mighty boring!!!

However it will also be a massive boost to the old weightloss which this week was an amazing 4lb. Yes I toddled off down to 'chubby club' last night and cannot believe that in two weeks I am nearly 1/2 stone lighter. As I was told later, I am wasting away. Well there is still a lot of Lady Lainey at the moment and wasting away is something that I most certainly am not!. However every 1lb off is more pennies for 'The Taking Steps Project' and that is a great incentive.

I also waved goodbye to my old Raleigh bike last night as it set off to it's new home in Penrith. It is going to be given a makeover and next summer is off on a jaunt down the Danube. Much more scenic than Aycliffe cycle paths.

On the cricket front, Scotland have made it through to the 2015 World Cup after beating Kenya by three wickets. As you know Mr Funky the chauffeur and I have seen Scotland play numerous times at Chester Le Street ( and got the frostbite to prove it!). Always an enjoyable (if usually freezing) match. Jolly well done to the boys.

Other County news is that Matthew Walker, Essex's Assistant coach has left this position  to return to Kent in the same role. Matthew spent most of his playing career at Kent before moving to Essex in 2008. I did see him play 2nd X1 for Kent many years ago. ( I thought that someone had let one of the local children have a little game!!)


So Dave and Richard set off on their 48/50 World Record cricket nets attempt yesterday lunchtime, by the sounds of the tweets they will have a few bruises when this is all over!.


So I am hurrying off today as I have to deliver important packages to Super Swanky Lady Lainey office,as Job the Jolly is having a birthday. Woohooo jelly, ice cream and sausage rolls!Playing pass the parcel and pin the tail on the donkey. Well probably not, but he will be getting some pressies.

Hopefully all my readers will be fully fit and well today, not happy when I hear that someone is 'not too grand'.

Have a very happy Friday and 'Bon Weekend'



Thursday, 30 January 2014

Normal service resumed!




Ok so its Thursday and its taken me all week to get over the excesses of the weekend, so sad to be 21 and not be able to party like I did when I was 20!
I am also back to full 'orangness' having had the barnet 'touched up' so all stations go for this weekend, when I will be living it up at Chateau Saltburn with Dame Didi.That's as long as we don't get any snow!

In Australia,England must have been hoping for snow to stop play as they went into T20 battle. Yes they put on a good show with Ravi Bopara scoring runs like a madman, but to no avail as they once again were beaten, and this time by 13 runs. Stuart Broad defended his decision to omit Ben Stokes, who is this years 'Joe Root' who in turn was last years.............well you get the idea.

To be honest I was having a 'little think' last night about what the problem is with the team. Apart from their being some super huge ego's and some super huge developing egos, on paper they seem to be a good team, it's just when they play that they seem to go to pot!

Would I change it? well not too sure. maybe bring back Atherton, Stewart and Sidebottom!!! If only!!!

KP has been named as one of the 'stars' up for auction  in the IPL after being dropped  earlier this month by The Daredevils. Dimi Mascarenhas is one of the other names in the auction. The IPL runs from April 8th to May 30th so I will be missing some of the action whilst I am on my wine swilling jolly back home in La Belle France. I am sure that I will not be missing too much though,

Lord Christophe, monster child nephew, is currently looking for a job. Fingers crossed that he gets something in Whitby..............................fish and chip excursion I think!!!

Sir Richard, youngest monster child nephew is meanwhile building his own empire in North Yorkshire, well done him on his hard graft and hope when he makes his millions he remembers his beautiful besty Auntie Lady Lainey.( and his mum Dame Didi)................OK and his other auntie Tzarina Katerina I don't want to appear mean!


Today is the start of the World Record cricket net attempt down in Lincolnshire. I wish Dave and Richard the best of luck over the next 48/50 hours and really hope that they do it.
Well done boys wish I could have come down but unless a miracle happens tomorrow I doubt I will get to sunny Lincs!

well time and tide wait for no Lady, so I am heading off to super swanky Lady Lainey office and the joys that are a whole load of new builds!!! I think a day in the archiving is called for!!!

Until tomorrow................


Wednesday, 29 January 2014

Rain, rain and more flipping rain




Well it rained and rained last night and then I woke up at 3am this morning to hear it lashing down even worse! Hardly got back to sleep after that.

I had been a tad concerned about The Duke of Adelaide as I hadn't heard from him in ages.............. well it turns out that apart form lounging by his pool in Australia and loving the wonderful heat, he is about to go to train to be a Primary school teacher. he is currently volunteering at the school that that The Duchess of Adelaide works at.  Great news from down under.

And more great news from down under, England ladies retain the Ashes after winning the first T20 international by 9 wickets.

The men are in action in about two hours!!!

Lady Lainey's besty international cricket team The Netherlands played Canada yesterday and had an eight wicket win. As you know I had the pleasure of meeting the team a couple of years ago in Leeds/Bradford airport as they were off to play my beloved Yorkshire..
Holland  excelled with both bat and ball. Flipping well done to the team. Hup Holland!!!


Champions of the world Durham have signed Stuart Poynter on a two year contract and Calum MacLeod will be given a trial with the club in April.

Today looks to be quiet in Lady Lainey's life ( fingers crossed) as the work load is increasing on the 'boys' the amount of chatter is kept to a minimum, which all makes for a quiet day in super swanky Lady Lainey office.

Tonight there is Yorkshire question and answer session, this time out in Rotherham with none other than His Royal Ryanness taking part! Another Q & A that I can't go to..............................gutted. I wouldn't have asked any questions though as I am way too shy!


So as I prepare to subject the orange birdsnest  curls to the flipping rain, I hope that you all have a good Wednesday.

Come on get up out of bed !!!!

Tuesday, 28 January 2014

Not quite sure what day it is!!


Well I woke up this morning without a clue where I was or what day it was, I was looking around mon boudoir not recognising anything and so turned over and went back to sleep thinking that I was back home in La Belle France!!!, Then I started to try to piece together what day it was and was totally convinced it was Saturday.. The one thing that I did know was that I was back home in France it was flipping cold!!! Eventually the cold hard facts dawned on me, I was in LT Towers II and it was only Tuesday. I think that the excesses of the weekend have caught up with me!!! And tired does not come close to relaying how I feel this morning.

On the upside after seeing the gritters out last night and being convinced that I would wake up to a 'white out' this morning, it is only cold and  wet. it is however probably icy out there!

Cricket news is slow today apart from lots of talk from Gaeme Swann which too be honest is now getting very stale and boring. He has retired ....end of.

We are now gearing up for the T20 series in Australia, lets see what kind of a pigs ear we make of that! The first one is on 2nd February.

James Faulkner is out of the Australian team though due to a knee injury.


Scotland beat Namibia in the Super sixes to move up to second place in the ICC World Cup qualifying competition. Its looking good for them at the moment.

On the ODD side I read a piece on Phil Tuffnel, who has had a hair transplant, he says its no big deal and is not ruling out 'botox' Oh dear me silk purse..........

Life in super swanky Lady Lainey office was quiet yesterday as Pony Paul was on a little jolly. He is back today so no doubt there will be altercations with Architects, non stop ringing phones and lots of 'deep sighs'.


It is now just over a month until I go back to former home of London to visit friends Zemina and Gary. Its only for a couple of days but I am looking forward to the break and the company. Its to be hoped that the weather is better than today.

After starting the 'Insanity' workout I had to stop due to a niggle in my back, but tonight I am back to it and hope to be a completely new woman in 60 days! well not so much a new woman but at least a fitter one.
if you have never seen this workout, then don't even try to find it, it will leave you feeling ill and never wanting to do any type of exercise again. but as I have said before no pain no gain.
Hopefully i will get through more than a week this time before I break down!


Well as some of us are still lounging about in bed, in the warm, and not even thinking about spending 7 hours looking pretty in an office, I am off to do my thing for another day.

Monday, 27 January 2014

Happy Monday!!!



Well good morning and Happy Monday, I am not quite sure why I am so blinking bouncy happy, probably because I have had a 'proper' nights sleep after a bit of a wild weekend!

I went back to bed yesterday morning after posting my very short blog and listened to the rest of the ODI. England once again went from looking like winners to falling at the final hurdle. Australia  won the match by five runs. yes it really was that close!!!!

Ben Stokes was fined 15% of his match fee from the ODI that England won last week. This followed an altercation with James Faulkener. He used language or a gesture that was obscene, or offensive.
I am keeping quiet on this as my views on his past behaviour are well documented. I hoped that a second chance he got with England might curb him a little, obviously not. He may very well be a lovely young man, but sometimes does not portray this on the field.

Captain Cook will miss the limited overs tour of the West Indies beginning in February as it is decided to rest him. Well in light of his run scoring of late he has been getting plenty of rest, because he's hardly been out at the crease. However I think that the decision is a good one. He has taken a lot of flack and has been under a huge amount of scrutiny.

Its looking as if Stuart Broad may take charge. Well give him something to do when he is crocked, because its going to happen!

Swann is once again making headlines as he 'opens up' about his decision to retire mid tour. To be honest do any of us care now?  No I thought not!

So Sunday was a quiet and lazy day here at LT Towers II, napping and watching complete rubbish on the television.

Spent a couple of hours catching up with friends on 'Whatsapp' and then  headed off to bed for an early night.

So what does today/this week hold for I, Lady Lainey.

Well super swanky Lady Lainey office is the order of the day and then I am really pushing hard to shift the weight ready for the summer so there is going to be lots of activity this evening.  #nopainnogain


I also will be developing muscles as I seem to have sold loads of my junk  treasures on ebay. So they will all be taken off to the post office today and sent on their way to pastures new.

No Pony Paul today in the office he has taken a 'mysterious' days holiday and wouldn't 'spill' as to why!!! So Job the Jolly, Trill Boy will be flipping busy doing drawings and stuff, whilst I recline in my chair, drink gallons of coffee, shout a lot and look pretty for 7 hours. I love my job!!!





Sunday, 26 January 2014

What is going on?



OK so yesterday I didn't write a blog for two reason,

1. I had been out very late the night before.

2. When I got home I did housework and baked a coffee cake (above).

Today I am very late writing the blog for  two reasons

1. I was up very late due to late arrival of Black Knight of the Ferrari!!!

2. Slept in ( and through the cricket).

Yes, I was not expecting to see The Black Knight until late February/early March, but he is in the UK for a week and so tipped up at LT Towers as I was planning on going to bed.
 We had lots to catch up on and he provided a bottle of bubbly.......................well it would have been rude not to have had a sip!
Anyhoo, life and business are doing well for him in UAE and he has no plans on coming back to Blighty, like ever!!!!!

So I put on the cricket  and fell asleep waking up about 30 mins ago with a raging headache and listening to persistent rain outside!!!
So with the cricket on I now see that I am not missing much. WonderBoy Stokes pushed up the batting order out for a duck, as England chase 218. Joe Root back in the fold and currently on 31. And Captain Cook still in there!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stokes had bowled brilliantly, however why push him up to bat at 3?
And talking about  about Stokes Durham coach Jon Lewis has been stating  that Durham cannot afford to cover Ben if he doesn't get a central contract.
Well if they hadn't paid a 'certain'player for years when he never set foot on the field they may have been able to.
And with the amount that they charge for a bottle of 'wine' ( term used very loosely) in the bar I am surprised .

Whoops off on a little Durham rant there.#paysmemoneycanmoanifIlike


Sadly Englands women lost again to the Australian ladies who seem to be pulling themselves back bit by bit.

It is flipping pouring here in the North East of Blighty and as some mad people head off down to Lincolnshire to wander around bits of broken bikes and cars and the likes, I am listening to the whirr of the dishwasher and thinking that I might just go back to bed for an hour!!!

Yes thats settled it I am back to bed for an hour.........................





Friday, 24 January 2014

Woohoo it be F(ryan)day









And it is nearly the weekend, which means only one thing………………flipping housework!!! Think it is time for me to get staff in, yes a cleaner would really make my life so much better. Seriously thinking about it as come the cricket season LT Towers II could be in total chaos.

Found out the other evening that  Gillespie the Gallant is to head a Q & A session at Scarborough CC along with Adam Lyth (oddest laugh ever!) AND His Royal Ryanness This all takes place on February 4th . Now this causes  HUGE dilemma in the life of I , Lady Lainey. I want to go and hear what they have to say but because I am over 2 hours away from Scarbados, and it is a 'school night' and it is the middle of winter......HUGE dilemma.  It is not a bad drive there and back in the summer over the Moors Road, beautiful views etc dropping in on besty sister in the whole world, Dame Didi’s at Chateau Saltburn, drinking all her wine.........winter though not an option. ( very sad face!!)

I thought of asking Mr Funky the Chauffeur but already know the outcome of that conversation


Lady Lainey, Hey Mr Funky would you like to run me Scarbados on Tuesday 4 th February.

Mr Funky No

Lady Lainey But you don’t know why yet


Mr Funky Got a pretty good idea.

Lady Lainey Ohhhhhh Mr Funky, Gillespie the Gallant is hosting a Q & A session

Mr Funky NO

Lady Lainey Ohhhhhhh  go on Mr Funky, His Royal Ryanness will be there too

Mr Funky NOOOO!!!!!

Lady Lainey OK I will pay and put fuel in the big blue tank thing

Mr Funky NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Lady Lainey I PROMISE to behave in the best Lady Lainey like way

Mr Funky And there you have the reason for me not taking you!!!!!!!



I know that this will be his response without trying and know that I will be forever tarred with  the unlady like  brush, accused of  bad behaviour when all I do is go to cricket, sit quietly and provide all the flipping food and drink!!!! And photograph cricketer posteriors……..


What on earth is a Lady to do?????? Well sit at home on that particular Tuesday evening by the sounds of it! Mighty gutted!!!!!

Funny thing is that Gillespie the Gallant is also venturing to Wales on 15th Feb to Ynysygerwn CC . Now I am wondering why Aycliffe CC have not had him there along with his Royal Ryanness, to give us an insight into life at Yorkshire CCC, I could chuffing well walk there and stumble home in less than 5 minutes. And we are just off the A1 too!!!!!

I read an interesting piece yesterday on ‘How to land a Yorker’. Apart from the fact that my former bowling coach Harry Latchman would choke on his over proof rum and coke if I did manage to ‘land a Yorker’, I noted that it was written by Mark Garraway. I remember him when he kept wicket for Hampshire 2nds and sometimes 1st team.

It was actually very interesting, although my bowling days are well and truly behind me!


Whilst mentioning (former besty home county in the south ) Hampshire they announced yesterday that they had signed South Afircan fast bowler Kyle Abbotr as their overseas player. Good luck to him.

Sadly Lady Lainey’s besty international team The Netherlands failed in their bid to make the World cup as they went out to Kenya yesterday. However Scotland are through to the Super Six stage.

Englands Ladies lost to Australia yesterday and so have to win their next match to retain  the Ashes. come on girls!!

'Shane Warne is to mentor the Australian spinners for the world T20'. Well expect plenty of teeth whitening, fake tan, manicured nails and lots of botox Estee Lauder products!!!!!

I am feeling much better now after the recurrence of tonsillitis, however obviously not quite well enough to wake myself up at 3am for the ODI, I woke up at 4.25am!!!!  The score is currently (6.26am UK) time
216-5 with Stokes being the top scorer.

I have to run this morning as I have to pick Job the Jolly up at the garage on the way into super swanky Lady Lainey office, he has only gone and broken his car!!!! Boys!!!

May be late tomorrow as night out tonight!!! 









Thursday, 23 January 2014

Countdown to the weekend!




So the weekend is looming large and once again thoughts turn to all the jobs that are to be done here. Most importantly is a flipping huge bonfire to get rid of more dead leaves that have found there way into the extensive grounds of LT Towers II. Luckily the Deer Park is just ticking over nicely so no problems there.

I am hoping ( not) for the better weather to arrive so that I can get on the garage roof and finish 'acrypol'ing it. As many readers will remember I started to do this last year, I managed to get some of the roof done and all of my nails, which now have a waterproof rubberised coating guaranteed for 75 years!!!!

So to cricket and Yorkshire CCC announced yesterday the sad news that former player Graham Stevenson had sadly passed away aged 58. Stevenson played 177 first class matches for Yorkshire between 1976-1983.  In 1982 he set a record 10th wicket stand with Geoff Boycott of 149 against Warwickshire at Edgbaston, thrashing 115 not out, at the time a record for a number 11 batsman.
He had suffered a very severe stroke three months ago.

After noting the ICC's new plans for cricket which South Africa had objected to, Cricket's International Players union have now opposed plans to give more  control to England , Australia and India. The union are extremely concerned about the future of international cricket ( as am I, Lady Lainey especially with the team England have at the moment). Well it;s all kicking off and hopefully may well be settled next week.

Englands women are currently playing to win the Ashes. Australia went into bat and are currently  266-7.
Good luck girls you have done better than the 'boys'.

The Flower/Pieterson rift continues to take up space (yes on here too). every man and his dog is stating that there is no rift.

Me thinks they do protest too much!!!!.

It will be an early night tonight as I will be up at 3am for the ODI, not quite sure why I am putting myself through all of this but I am and to be honest its torture!!!


Well managed to sell one of the things out of the garage last night so there is some space at last. Dame Didi, have you sold yours yet????

So another day another penny for the new tiara fund. I wonder what joys today brings in super swanky Lady Lainey office!!!!! Hmmmmmmmm best go and find out.







Wednesday, 22 January 2014

Things I found out about boys part 2



After my discovery last year that 'boys 'of a certain age, love Wonder Woman. I am constantly amazed at my discoveries about 'boys'.

Take yesterday for instance, after being very poorly on Monday, I returned to my desk in Super Swanky Lady Lainey office to see it ( well I couldn't actually see the desk, keyboard or chair) covered in drawings to be issued, lots of drawings to be filed away and more drawings just for the 'fun' of dumping them on my desk. At first glance this looked as if the said 'boys' had done lots of work whilst I had been ill in bed.
However on further investigation I noted that the coffee jar was nearly empty, the tin of shortbread ( full on Friday) was as good as empty ( 4 battered pieces of shortbread in the tin). this leads me to believe that the old saying 'when the cats away.......' is so very true.

Also the fact that I, Lady Lainey had not been present in the office allowed the 'boys' to be 'boys'. And so  I was subjected to a cacophony of  wind being passed!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is never right in front of a Lady, especially one like moi! So in my best elocutionised and outraged  voice I told them that if they did it again I would be inserting corks to the offending orifice!!!! seemed to do the trick!

However I really do not think that I would have gone near them with a barge pole let alone a cork!

Then as I was heating up my lunch I walked back into the office  to nearly catch 'Trill Boy' in his 'skimpies'!!! as he was getting changed for his run. Well it put me right off my sausage and mash I can tell you!!!

Seriously if it had been Eric Cantona I think my day would have been much brighter but 'Trill Boy' PLEASE!!!!

 So I have now found out that if you leave boys on their own for 2 minutes and they are up to all kinds of high jinx!

Oh dear so early in the morning to be off on a rant!!!

After all of that Dame Didi and I have decided that when we go off to Marseilles for the big birthday bash in October  we might just stay there. Yes fly home on holidays and stay for good. Seems she did not have a good day at Dame Didi Domain either!!!

Very little cricket news  today except that it is all change on the Lions tour with Ollie Rayner replacing Simon Kerrigan, who sadly injured his back during a  pre tour preparation camp last month. It is hoped that he can join the tour later if he continues to improve.

A very trivial story from the 'bowels' of the Daily Mail today is that woman judge other woman very harshly on their appearance ( and we didn't already know that) apparently 'The Scouse Brow' as sported by the height of celebrity WAG ness  Mrs Rooney and Mrs Gerrard is a no no with woman ( apart from those in the north West it seems).Also spidery eyelashes, caked on powder and patchy fake tan are also on the  things that woman dislike about other woman.

Luckily I do not enter into the categories of any of the above, most days I have enough time to write the blog, shovel two weetabix down my cake hole, and get dressed to go to the office. Any make up is a bit of blusher and some lip gloss and if I have time some eyeliner. As for fake tan, sadly it would get washed off with all the rain that comes down here in the North East of Blighty.

A Bientot











Tuesday, 21 January 2014

Back to it!




Well, I ended up n bed most of yesterday, yes the doc said that the 'Tonsillitis' was back, although in theory it had probably not gone a way. So more pills to swallow ( which is very hard to do and very painful). I am this morning feeling no better, but, I have to go to make sure that those 'boys' have not been running amok in super swanky Lady Lainey office.

So whilst I slept yesterday there was quite a lot going on in cricket land.

In Australia, Mitchell Johnson The man of the Ashes Series won the Allan Border medal. Australias top cricket award. Johnson who had fought his way back into the side after injury, said that he knew in his heart if he got the opportunity, he would make the most of it. And to be honest he did, 37 wickets in the series!!!

There is trouble brewing between South Africa and the ICC, over the proposal to give England, India and Australia, greater control of the sport.The 21 page paper is scheduled to be discussed on  28-29th January.
I have read most of the plans. 'Two Tier structure' with promotion and relegation etc.

I will add my views to this later.


Over in the World Cup qualifiers Scotland beat the UAE  by 53 runs, Calum MAcLeod hit a century . This is Scotlands second win in three matches and seals their Super Six place before Thursdays final group match against Canada.

Rumours flying that Captain Cook may step down  as one day captain are again circulating,. To be honest I think that Cook doesn't really know his 'a$$e from his elbow at the moment. The team have taken a total hammering by the Austalians ( who in 6 months have gone from Zero-Hero). Ravi Bopara has backed him saying that he is sure that Cook has  the backing of the rest of his team mates. Well only time will tell what the actual outcome is.

Next ODI is early hours of Friday morning here.

Well its looking good on the clear out front, as I have bids on things from the garage. This means that I will be able to actually walk in and not nearly 'kneecap' myself!

I am also gathering more 'stuff' for the big sale on 1st February and then anything that is still hanging around will be off to the charity shop.

I am really going to have this house cleared out once and for all!

well I suppose it is time for me to head off to the office and see what damage they caused yesterday.I know that I will not be able to shout at them......................but there will be hell to pay if my desk is 'littered' with drawings!!!!








Monday, 20 January 2014

Up with the larks!




If only this was the view from LT Towers II this morning  ( instead of being the view of home soil of France from hotel room). However I can't see a blinking thing outside it is soooooo dark. For pities sake, bring on the lighter mornings and I might feel a bit more human! However the 'golf ball' in the throat has reared its head again. What the Donald Duck is going on??? I am falling apart!!!! It's not right in one so young!!! ( stop laughing now Joe!)

Well probably another course of 'cillin' should sort it if the Doctor will give it to me!.

So what happened yesterday in cricket, well if you didn't watch, listen. read about it. England lost! And Captain Cook has said that he may resign as ODI captain. Hell, let Bell have a go he thinks he is he Captain already!
To be honest I doubt him stepping down will make any difference to whether they win or lose!
Need to sort the team out!

Top news from The Tykes. Andrew Gale signed a new contract which will keep him with the club until 2016 with the option for another season. Its all looking good for my boys.

Liam Plunkett who a couple of seasons ago looked to be on 'self destruct' at Durham has made the Lions team. Flipping brilliant to see him doing so well. One season at Yorkshire has seen a marked improvement in all of Liam's game and for him to get a second chance of a call up is great. Liam is about to go into his second season with Yorkshire and I wish him every bit of luck.
Having seen him play last year he looks much more at home with the Yorkshire team than at Durham. #dizzydoesgood

Dame Didi and I seem to be on a mission to have an early spring clean at our respective homes. Dame Didi is doing it in readiness for her move back home to La Belle France, less to send on the removals van. I am doing it because my flipping house is bursting at the seams.Blinking eBay got a hammering last night and if it all sells I may be able to get my car back in the garage and get my spare bedroom back!


So today I am heading off to see the 'quack' and hope that my  flipping throat is better again soon. How will I shout at 'boys'?, how will I demand copious amounts of coffee?.

I am sure I will but to be honest I just wish that I felt a tiny bit better!!!!

Short one today so until tomorrow

Bon Journee



Sunday, 19 January 2014

Lady Lainey makes a start!!!!



And that's what I did yesterday. I have been letting things get a tad slack here at LT Towers II and when I got back from Chateau Saltburn I  decided to make a start..............................and tidied out my handbag!. As you can see it is still pretty full, but these are the necessities for the perfect day to day running of the life of I Lady Lainey.

I did do three loads of washing, put the dishwasher on, make my lunch and dinner and then have a nap!

So today it is full steam ahead, even though I have been up since 3am to make sure that England do something right.

And it seemed that they were as they had selected Ballance and Bresnan to play ( sadly no Root but on past performance even I would have been loath to play him). Cook and Bell took to the field to open and Cook went at 35. His batting sadly is not great at the moment. I know the team have performed badly but as an opener we are expecting better figures  from him than we have seen of late.England then brought in Stokes at 3 which was a change from Ballance.
Bell was run out at on 29 and then Ballance joined Stokes.

The end of the England innings saw 243 for their 50overs with top knocks from  Morgan and BRESNAN, yes indeedy doody Top Tyke Timmy hit 41!!!

So Australia are currently in batting and I have it on't wireless at the moment as I am in the 'office' typing this blog ( no TV's allowed upstairs at The Towers). They are 63-1 at 8.23am UK time ( gosh I am really late posting this morning).

According to one newspaper this morning. It is all over for KP as they 'reveal' that Cook and Flower do not want him as part of their new set up. It is claimed that Flower wants players to appear for their county  which is at odds with the IPL  where KP is hoping to make more money.
There is also comments on the fact that he ignores coaches ( and we are surprised because.....).

This year could be a new era for English cricket if they choose wisely. Out with the old and in with the new is my motto.

But hey what would I know?????

On a high note, England's women's team look closer to winning the Ashes. At least someone is doing it right. Well you all know if you want a job doing well let the women do it!

OK off to do lots of jobs now!!

Have a super Sunday.


Saturday, 18 January 2014

Birthday Bash part 1 sorted



OMG the first part of the Big Birthday Bash was completed last night, well the flights were sorted. I just have to make it across the airport at Amsterdam without losing Dame Didi and nearly missing my connecting flight, which if course this year I will make sure doesn't happen.Unlike last time!!! At least when I finally got on the flight the Stewardess realised how distressed I was and gave me as many danish pastries as I could cram into my cake hole.

So in exactly 9 months time I will be having fun in the sun in Marseilles,home of Eric Cantona, the oldest cinema in the world and the magnificent cathedral above.

I know that avid readers will notice that yesterday I stated it was 10 months until my birthday, well it is. but I am starting early to make it last as long as possible!!! The big party will be the end of the celerations.

Over in all things cricket, England lost again to Australia yesterday despite Joey Root making up for his lack of runs by taking a wicket. Also the new boys Morgan and Boyd are suffering from injuries ( calf and hamstring). Morgan coming off late in the game meaning that the lovely Michael Carberry had to come on to field.( and I missed that!!!)

The team looks to be falling apart again and this is not a good sign.

Captain Cook stated that the England dressing room was an emotional place to be, yeah well mate you should be watching the game, that's not just emotional its downright depressing!

James Faulkner was the hero of the Australian team, in less than a year since his one day international debut, all rounder Faulkner has  scored 408 runs in 20 matches. In November 2013 he scored Australia's fastest one day hundred off 57 balls!!!!


Sussex have signed Yasir Arafat for their T20 blast this summer. Can't wait to see which other players get snapped up to play over the summer.

Oh well I have to hurry up as I am having my first bath this year................yes indeedy I am now going to wallow in Dame Didi's tub before heading back to the Towers and housework!!!!






Friday, 17 January 2014

Hurray its F(ryan)day.






FINALLY it is F(ryan)day. Its been a long old week. Mainly due to a terrible start with very sad family news. Then it brightened up mid week when there was a big birthday bash for His Royal Ryanness. Now it is  so close to the weekend that I feel like taking a day off work........................yes really. I know that you all know how much I love to go to super swanky Lady Lainey office, shout at boys, drink copious amounts of coffee and look pretty for 7 hours, but today I just want to pull the duvet back over my head and have a couple more hours sleep!

This is probably due to being up since 3am for cricket. Oh yes indeedy, in fact it is still on in the background as I type.

It seemed to all be starting OK but Cook went for 22 and then Joey Root came in to bat, oh dear, to say he has been having a bad time is an understatement. He was out for 2. Once again asked for it to be reviewed but to no avail.
Bell put on 68 before being run out and then Morgan made 54. England are still in there at the moment but with the score currently (6.12am UK time) 196-5 , lets see how many more we put on .

Mitchell Johnson is back in the Australian squad and this time clean shaven, nearly didn't recognise him.

Some trivia that I found out at 4am this morning. Former Australia and Durham bowler Dean Jones is also a fireman...................yes really that is true. if you don't believe me ask him!!!


Other cricket news is that Scotland beat Nepal by 90 runs in their opening World Cup qualifying match. Captain, Coetzer was happy with the win but knows that the boys can do more! Wow no pressure then!!!



Steve Finn has spoken in his own defence re his lack of performance in Australia. He has stated that he will come back stronger. Well lets hope he does, but will he ever play for England again? ( or get a cracking eight week holiday downunder?)

Nipping back to check on the current score ( 6.30am UK ) England 239-5 looking not to shabby there.


So I now have to pack up the Lady Lainey limo as I am off to Chateau Saltburn ce soir, to have mon repas avec mon soeur,  ( translation.....have a gut bash with my sister). We are also booking the flights for my big birthday bash in Marseilles. And I am getting super bouncy excited about it and its only 10 months away. OMG I may have to start packing my tiaras.


Well with that thought I am running into the 'dressing room' (i.e. one of the bedrooms that I don't sleep in but have filled with 'stuff') to get started on that little job.

I may be late with the blog tomorrow it depends if I have a lie in or not.





Thursday, 16 January 2014

Lady Lainey takes the challenge




Well good morning, good morning from LT Towers II ( soon to be reverting  back to its cricket season name of Tykes Towers).

Its a cold, dark, wet morning here and I stayed under the duvet longer than I should have this morning, as a result I am sitting here with soaking wet orange curls and typing like a flipping mad thing!

So what is the challenge that I Lady Lainey have taken up? Well as you know in November I donated to Chris Rushworths 'Movember' appeal, when he grew lots of facial hair to raise money for cancer research and awareness, related to men's health issues. So now he has decided to continue fundraising but for a different cause and has chosen to go 'dry' for the whole of 2014!!!!!

Well Dry January has been a bit of a test here at the Towers, flipping heck how would I  manage all year? ( would I my Aunt Nellie!) So in the spirit of companionship I have,

1. decided to give a little each month of the challenge

2. Give a little more every month that I stay off the champagne

3. Give Chris my complete support even when if I fall off the wagon! ( which is very very likely)


Well done on a great fundraising idea which will benefit 'Save the children'  and if you are interested in making a donation, go along to  http://www.justgiving.com/Chris-Rushworth2


Away from fundraising, the Steve Finn debate is still rattling on ( very slow in the cricket journo's life so milk it for all it's worth). Former 'top bowler' of Lady Lainey , Angus Fraser has been saying that Finn has fallen out of love with bowling but that he will regain his form. Hell I would fall out of love with bowling if I got an eight week jolly to Australia!. However to be fair to Finn, he doesn't look to have the form that he had and I wonder to myself why he was selected when he obviously was looking this way prior to the tour.

Well when I run the show, things will be very different!!! hahahaha anyone who knows me well will know the criteria for the selection process!!! And just in case any publishers are reading this, my book  'Cricketers Posteriors' is still  waiting to get a 6 figure book deal!!!!!! #makingcricketmoreinterestingfortheladies


Finally our thoughts and prayers go out to the Button family, after the very sad loss of  John Button. He was a super supporter of his son and last night Jenson tweeted how proud he was to have called him Dad. Tears aplenty when I was reading his tweets.

Its been a sad start to the year for lots of families. Here's to a happier 2014



Wednesday, 15 January 2014

Someone has a birthday today!





Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday with all the sundries
Hope you're wearing your purple undies!


 Happy Birthday to his Royal Ryanness who is 21 ( again) just like I, Lady Lainey.  OK, its a tad personal message but hey he  was seen worldwide in those  undies at the start of last season  courtesy of Yorkshire CCC website.

I am sending a huge  ( you don't get much 'huger' than moi) birthday greeting to Ryan today and hope that you have a brilliant time whatever you are doing, but hoping that it involves my favourite birthday treats. Sausage rolls, jelly and ice cream, iced gems, party rings, birthday cake and running round with your jumper over your head until you feel sick.

Have a great day!

After the sadness of the last couple of day due to the loss of our cousin James,  Cousin Rt Hon Hooligan Robbo only went and did an amazing thing last night in the FA cup match against Bristol Rovers. He only flipping scored!!!!! Yes the Hooligan scored his first goal in five years ( due to him being a defender as Dame Didi reminded me). I think that there may not have been a dry eye in any Robinson house.
Birmingham won 3-0 and good old Hooligan Robbo made everyone smile! Top boy.


So after leaving you all on tenterhooks yesterday  with the cricket. I have pleasure in announcing that England won. Yes they flipping well did. Under normal circumstances I might have been whooping and throwing my tiara in the air, but to be honest do we care now??? Well if you do England won by 172 runs.

Finn is being sent home to work on the technical aspects of his game. Oh well  he has had a wonderful holiday, now back to the freezing cold here in Blighty.

Mark Stoneman has extended his contract with champions of the world Durham  ( lets see who are Champions this season!). 26 year old Stoneman was said to be a 'senior' player by the club, flipping heck 26 and senior. I feel faint!!

And joy of joys, KP is in the England World T20 squad. Graham Onions has been given a call up for the provisional 30 man squad, as has Gary Ballance Jonny Bairstow , Joe Root, and Tim Bresnan, I think that they should just play the Yorkshire team, it would make me happy!!!!

However Michael Carberry is in the squad so there is 'eye candy' for Dame Didi!!!

Oh well, another day another trip up the A1 to Lady Laineyworkville. Another 7 hours of twirling my curls, shouting at boys, drinking copious amounts of coffee and looking pretty. Its a hard life but someone has to do it!!!

Have a great (birth)day .








Tuesday, 14 January 2014

It's a sad Tuesday



Very sad news came through last night that our cousin James had very sadly passed away. James was only 42 years old and had been a keen rugby player and supporter. The whole family are in shock as you can imagine.

The Robinson/Walker/Wilkinson family are all rocked to the core.


How do you continue with a 'light-hearted' blog after that?

State the facts I think.

Scotland lost their opening world cup qualifier to Hong Kong.

And Sri Lanka who are due over here in the summer, beat Pakistan in the second test in Dubai.


England meanwhile are playing a match against a Prime Ministers XI, which includes Brett Lee.

Carberry and Bresnan are back in the fold, and it looks as if Carberry had a few close shaves. England were 12-2 at one point! After losing Cook and Root. Carbs eventually went for 47.

England fought back and are currently 219-6 (6.40am UK time).

It really is a short one today as I really am struggling to write something witty or funny ( if indeed you find the blog witty and funny).


Until tomorrow

Monday, 13 January 2014

How does Monday come round so fast?





Yes its Monday again, at least this week ( so far) I am feeling fairly bouncy happy ( not quite super bouncy). I finally made all got the new bed finished and then had the worst nights sleep ever on it, due to  waking myself up every time I turned over....................... waiting for the 'squeak'. Well no squeak and sadly not much sleep either. This is going to be one very tired lapin by close of play today.


Well the ODI was a sad show with England once again losing. No amount of talking at press conferences can help the team. Talks in the dressing room need to be the key. They changed the team but it didn't change the outcome!


In the World Cup Qualifiers in New Zealand, The Netherlands secured a win against Uganda.  I am always amazed at how patriotic the Dutch are, the team manager was even sporting an orange watch ( which was very nice!).

England woman have actually put on a good show in The Ashes clash in Australia. They won the one off test by 61 runs. They now only need to win two of the limited overs matches to retain the trophy, and show the boys how its done!


I didn't report back on the footy from the weekend which to be honest was not great

The Blades lost !

The Mighty Whites looked decidedly grey after being humiliated by Sheffield Wednesday going down 6-0.

Birmingham also lost and there were cards a plenty in that match but luckily cousin Rt Hon Hooligan Robbo kept out of the 'action'.

Well my team talk to all the boys is to flipping well pull your socks up and get back into winning ways.
 6-0???????What are Leeds up to, they are having a terrible season.


Well at the moment it is so dark and miserable here at LT Towers II that I am finding it hard to get the motivation to get up and do anything, most of all go to work. I think that I need a new challenge and hopefully this week I might just find this. We'll see if things pan out for me.

Well short today as I am heading off for another fun packed week in super swanky Lady Lainey office with Jobbers, Pony and Trill!!!! Oh joy, I must have done something very bad in a past life!!!!






Sunday, 12 January 2014

Really got to get to it!





Yes I had great plans for yesterday and although I made some headway  I ended up closing my innings  with way too much work to do today!

So as the picture shows, today I am stepping up a gear and intend to get LOTS done today and have a nap too.

So I crawled into my bed after midnight, fell asleep and then woke up at about 3am so that I could check in with the cricket, I am late with the blog because I have been listening to the  'hacks' talking about KP and it makes for very interesting listening.Lots of rumour and speculation surrounding the 'Ego boy'. but lets get to the cricket.
England won the toss and elected to bat. The side had new input from Butler, Bopara, Morgan and Jordan. Captain Cook looked less stressed than he had in the last few weeks and strode out in fresh kit  to take his place at the crease with Bell. Well it was all going so well, for 03 overs!!!!!!!!!!!!!Cook out,  for 4.

Root came in and after making cricket really look less interesting than watching paint dry he too was out for 3.However he asked for it to be reviewed, only for the Umpire to 'give him the finger' and Joey was wandering back to the pavilion!  Bell went slightly later on as England were 62-3. By this time I fell asleep as it was like watching a rerun of all the other matches they had played this tour.

When I woke up I realised that there had been something of a rally from the troops, and that Ballance and Morgan had put on a good stand. Morgan went at 50 and Ballance  hit 79!.

At the end of their innings they were 269-7.

Australia are in now and are currently 58 without loss.

So what plans today. Well I am going to be trying to offload more of my rubbish treasures on eBay and also have a bonfire to get rid of all the flipping horsechestnut leaves that are lying around in the extensive grounds of LT Towers II.. I need to tidy up the garage in preparation for the arrival of another fridge and freezer (Why on earth does one person need to have 2 fridges and 2 freezers!???). Then I will be having a little nap before tackling all the paperwork in the 'office'.

Phewwww!!! I am flipping exhausted just writing about all the things that I have to do, however I have to crack on because as was brought up in a conversation yesterday. The cricket season  is getting ever closer and all the things that I thought I would have done now, are still waiting..............


Oh well best to log off and go and do something constructive.

 Australia now 68 without loss!!!! :-(




Saturday, 11 January 2014

Hi ho, hi ho



Oh yes indeedy doody, no peace for the wicked. I am going to be busier than the a proverbial bee today.

Firstly I am going to 'run' to town and do the lunch shopping for Job the Jolly and Pony Paul, do a quick race around the shops in case I see anything that I 'didn't realise'I needed. then home to sort out the new bed ( finally) put the boxes of Christmas decs back in the garage and then do some house work! Before beginning my 60 day 'Insanity' challenge!

OMG I am thinking that  there may be no nap time today as the new bed is going to be a super giant job!


So yesterday the 'tinterweb' was alight with KP bagging a huge pay deal with Delhi Daredevils in the IPL, if you remember last year he didn't play, just sat on the bench and counted his rupees. Well by teatime yesterday The Daredevils had obviously got wind of all the mutterings and  released KP. meaning that he will go up for auction in February. The Daredevils stated that they are building a fresh team.

Which tied in nicely with Captain Cook who was interviewed yesterday and refused to confirm that KP would be involved in a team for 2015 Ashes tour. Talk was mainly of building a NEW team and that you couldn't give one player confirmation of a place as 10 others would want it too.

Woooo hold on a minute there Captain Cook, this is not just one player, this is KP and we all know that he single handedly won the Ashes for England, plays better than any other player in the world, is brilliant at texting and has the backing of all of Liberty X.

OK enough of the sarcasm, it is way too early

However the whole IPL and county cricket thing comes to mind again, but I will save that for a later date.


Yippeee more baby news although Mr Funky the Chauffeur was not too impressed. Jessica Ennis is having a baby, and it has put a hold on all her activities this year. However she says that she will be back to defend her Olympic title.

I love babies!!!!


Today's footy sees


Cousin Rt Hon Hooligan Robbo and the rest of the Birmingham gang down in Brighton. I can see them now having a bit of a 'splodge' in the sea before kick off. Hope they win today and that Robbo is not 'carded'

The Mighty Whites are just travelling down the road to Sheffield where they will be taking on Wednesday

The Blades are at Nottingham  taking on County. #COYB


Dame Didi is now able to add 'plumbing' to her CV. She actually 'unplumbed' her washing machine, I am wondering if she is going to plumb in the new one?
I however will get 'Tim'll fix it to do mine as I do not want water shooting out everywhere in my kitchen when I put my 'smalls' on an economy cycle.


I just looked out of the window here at LT Towers II and though it was foggy, however it isn't, my windows are dirty and I need to find a man with long ladders to come and clean them. To be honest window cleaners in Lady laineyville are rarer than hens teeth, hence the state of said windows. If I wasn't so flipping scaredy of heights I would do it myself.
Yes another thing on the 'To do' list!





Friday, 10 January 2014

I thought it would never be F(ryan)day



Wowwwww after the worst start to working week, coming down with tonsillitis! It  is finally F(ryan)day and I can prepare for two days doing nothing here at LT Towers II. Well OK there are some things that have to be done, like finally sorting the new bed, taking bags of 'things' to the charity shop, shopping for lunches for the office 'boys'....................oh god I am tired out already!!!

As briefly mentioned yesterday the first ODI starts on Sunday and already the Australians have decided to rest Johnson, whilst England are resting Broad for the first two matches.What about the rest of the England team, I think that they can just pull names out of a hat!!!! #technicalstuff

We are now into the 70's as to how many days to the start of the domestic cricket season and I really am getting super excited about it. My diary is bulging with fixture lists, holiday forms and maps.
However before all of this there is still lots to be done in readiness for the season.........................no not the cricket boys!!! ME!!!
I am still on my sponsored slim for The Taking Steps Project, a great charity helping out victims of Domestic Abuse. Which is also a great boost for my return home to La Belle France. Hopefully losing the weight will stop me being harpooned on the beach at St Gilles Croix de Vie by any passing whaling ships!

And that's only one thing on the 5 page  list of 'Things to do before April'.

So did anyone see Aurora Borealis last night? Apparently  they would be visible in Scotland and the North of England Well I went to bed opened the curtains and next thing I knew it was 5.30am and time to get up, so its a big fat no from me.

I hope that Tzarina Katerina saw them because she flipping well didn't when she went on her Arctic cruise at Christmas!!!!!


It is now less than 3 weeks until the 48 hour net challenge in Lincolnshire, thank you to @rushworth22 who is donating for the raffle, very kind and I know that Dave and Richard will really appreciate it.


Its a very short one today  I am sorry to say, but I would like to say 'Thank You' to his Royal Ryanness, who was involved in the most 'surreal' tweets yesterday. its not everyday you get tweets from a dog, especially a dog who thinks he was knighted in the New Years Honours!.

If you want to enter the realms of total chaos check out  . or his 'woofsite' http://www.spanielharry.co.uk/

Your life may never be the same............................ 


Thursday, 9 January 2014

Not long now....................




...........................................until the heady days of Spring, OK its a officially a couple of months away, but this morning, as I sit here typing like a mad thing, there is no wind or rain lashing against the windows and it fills me full of hope that the weather may start to look up. This is extra flipping good because

1. I hate walking round with a super frizzy afro instead of lovely orange curls

2. I can get outside and clear up the extensive grounds of LT Towers II

3. It will nearly be the cricket season which is the most important thing in the world.



And by the time the cricket season arrives hopefully the 'do they do they not have an issue' saga of Flower and Pieterson will have been settled once and for all. This would have already died a death if Michael Vaughan did not keep regurgitating it every day!! To be honest I doubt that now anyone cares, I just wish they would both disappear and then Twitter would return to normal.

Apparently Matt Prior made the save of saves the other day, but obviously not on the cricket field. He helped to get a man down from a bridge where he was going to jump. Well done Matt. Now back to cricket.

Well we are now on countdown for the first ODI which starts on the 12th. Who will be in the team and who will be speaking to whom is more the question.
The ODI's are all crammed in before the end of the month so all this 'team bashing' in the papers need to stop if England want to regain any sense of pride.

Last night I took a little test that was doing the rounds on Facebook ( not something I ever do, but feeling poorly has a strange effect on you sometimes). This test was to see if you spoke with a regional accent and low and behold, although I live her in the North East of Blighty I only flipping speak with a southern accent.
Well being totally bored out of my skull due to the 'golf ball lodged in my throat ' aka tonsillitis, I posted this onto Twitter. haaa de flipping haa, Mr Funky the Chauffeur only went and did it!!!! And he is a raggy ar***d Northerner!!!! Hahahahaha. That is why he is the chauffeur and I am the Lady!.

He then mentioned that at my super massive birthday bash ( venue now sorted and booked), there had better be 'corned beef and tattie pie', for goodness sake I am surprised he didn't ask for pigs trotters and tripe.
As he knows very well from cricket lunches and tea that I pack up for himself and Pauly Paul during the season, its quails eggs, smoked salmon and cavier all the way. Washed down with champers..........well I might sneak in a ham and pease pudding sarnie, because I like them!


Oh yes and in case you are wondering, I feel a tad better today. I just hope that I can eat something!.






Wednesday, 8 January 2014

Oh woe its Wednesday




Well I would like to tell you all that I am back to my usual bouncy self today, but I'm not! still feeling rough, the feeling of having a golf ball in my throat has today been replaced with razor blades, so another day without food and having luke warm ( yukky!!) drinks today I think

I am also a bit cheesed off to see that my Tykes are going off to sunny climes in March  ( only cheesed off because I'm not going). Yes my boys are off to Sri Lanka on their pre season holiday  tour. Now that is a great place to go.!

Well Twitter was all a tweet yesterday and last night and believe it or not even I Lady Lainey threw my two penny  worth in.
Firstly  I had commented on a tweet to Piers Morgan , you know Mr Morgan 'friend' of all the cricketers! This was from Lashings World XI ( Lashings  Restaurant in Maidstone is worth a look to, I was lucky enough to visit there with Hants 2nd XI a few years ago, top evening).
Anyhoo I digress, Mr Morgan then commented on the tweet which then causes a flipping load of 'Tweeting' going on, AND then after 'Tuffers had made comment about KP not being very good ( I laughed so much I thought my tonsils might fall out), I commented on that too. Flipping heck I hadn't realised that there were so many KP 'bromances' going on. Blinking boys nearly crying because I said KP was 'getting on', 'probably passed his best in two year'.

He was good and can play well when he puts his mind to it, but sadly he has not played well this tour and time to get rid of the old guard and bring on the young guns! #myopiniononly

Andy Flower also denies giving the ECB an ultimatum, him or KP. Hell if I was at the ECB I would boot them both out!!! #myopiniononly.

It looks as if I am not the only one who is unwell, yes besty bowler from Champions of the world Durham was sooooo poorly last night that he couldn't go to see Sunderland beat Man United. Daddy Rushworth was not sympathetic to either of us, and let me tell you, 'lightweight' is not a word that you could use to describe Lady Lainey cheeky boy!!!

And so as it is flipping late this morning and I have to get the limo out of the garage I  am signing off until tomorrow.

Dame Didi I will ring you tonight if I stay awake that long!







Tuesday, 7 January 2014

Tuesday, bluesday




Well now then, where to start, firstly its Tuesday  and secondly I feel as if I have a golf ball lodged in my throat!! I actually have tonsillitis, which is flipping amazing as they 'whipped' them out when I was 8 years old. However the infection has taken hold, I feel ghastly and can't eat anything and can hardly even drink ( that would be non alcoholic beverages!). I am taking the tablets and hope that I am back to my usual bouncy happy Lady like self in no time at all.

And talking about no time at all, it seems like ages ago that I was telling you about the 48 hour non stop nets challenge taking place in Lincolnshire at the end of January. Well as you know we are now at 7th January so time is moving on and it'll be here in no time at all.
Dave and Richards are doing this mad inspirational challenge in aid of Brain tumour research and are 'begging' for any kind of cricket donations that can be raffled off to raise more money whilst the Net challenge takes place. If anyone can help out with this please contact  https://twitter.com/LadyLaineyR
Although the challenge is for 48 hours which will smash the world record, they actually want to go for 50!

My challenge today is to just get through 7 hours of sitting in super swanky Lady Lainey office looking 'kind of' pretty and then getting back to The Towers in time to crash out in my bed!.

Not content with us all suffering watching England lose the Ashes and 5 tests, we are now being bombarded with every ex player and his dog, letting us know their reasons why England lost.

Well as I am an ex player ( Harefield Ladies to be exact, prodigy of Harry Latchman!), here is my take on the whole shambles. We put out a 'team' and I use that word loosely. We all know there is no 'i' in team, however someone had failed to mention this to some of the players, who with their usual over inflated egotistical style thought that they could retain the Ashes single handed. Then we have the 'young guns' who showed great ability, which to be honest wasn't that difficult considering the shabby show from others.

HOWEVER, these youngsters should not be pushed up through the ranks quickly but allowed to play their way in. Some of them also need to calm down their 'hard boy' image because  it does them no favours ( in my book).
There are also some 'elders' of the team who think that they will still be around in 2015 to win the Ashes back. Well KP if you are still in the team in 2015 I am taking up supporting Italy!

Basically we lost because we were outplayed by Australia and not because we 'weren't on home turf', 'were having off days!!!!!'. We lost because we were too busy resting on our laurels to see the amount of work that Australia had done with their team. We lost because we were too full of ourselves.

Wowweeee!!!! I was off on a super cricket rant there and when I am not feeling too well too.

Gosh think I had better go and have a lie down for a little minute and then head off in the Lady Lainey limo!



Monday, 6 January 2014

Cold, Cold and got a cold!





Oh yes and so it begins.....................New Year and New cold. Add this to the fact that super swanky Lady Lainey office is going to be freezing today and it all adds up to being a grim one for me. I can hardly drink my coffee as my throat is so sore and how  on earth will I get through the day if I am not drinking copious amounts of the black nectar. I also think that I will have a problem shouting at boys too. This is not a flipping good start to the week.


I suppose it is just a continuation of the humiliation at the weekend, that was the The Ashes tour!.

Yes every part of the last 5 tests have now been dissected and it is the general consensus that England are rubbish and need a total overhaul. However all the back room staff seem to think that they are indispensable! Although personally how Andy Flowers can stay after this I do not know. I am reading as much as I can regarding the shambles before I deliver my verdict. However nothing can change the fact that we were well and truly stuffed by the Aussies. FACT!

Well if the tabloids are to be believed Monty Panesar has been trying to make up for his lack of wickets by bowling 'maidens' over. Oh yes, after his antics last summer it appears that Monty is living up to the  cricketers reputation and has been offering 'tours' of his hotel room. Whether it not this is true, is irrelevant, as a  'lady' has been blabbing to the press about this.

And as we ladies know, all cricketers are Gentlemen.....................


Countess Christine of McNally tipped up at LT Towers II yesterday with replacement dining chairs for me. One of my gorgeous chairs has very wobbly legs and cannot ( according to  cousin Sir Steven of Wilko) be repaired. Luckily Chris found two so she got them for me and now all looks to be perfect in the dining room again!


So what does this week hold for I Lady Lainey, well apart from feeling flipping rotten, we have a new build landing on our desks today so that will take some sorting out before any drawing happens. I am whipping the boys into shape this week as I am sick and tired of 'boy talk'. It's time to get back to talking about, shopping and handbags and new tiaras.

And then I can settle down to trying to drink coffee and look pretty for the remainder of the day. Oh yes back to the good old office!


Until tomorrow when I hope to be feeling jolly well better!




Sunday, 5 January 2014

What no party!




Exactly!!!! my fun Saturday night out with Naughty Nikki was cancelled half an hour before kick off! And I had managed to drag myself away from my usual Saturday afternoon spot ( the sofa) to get ready too. Oh well I could focus on the cricket...............................



...............................oh hang a minute I had already forsworn that! Oh well nothing else to do! So I went off to bed at about 10pm to get settled ready for action.

Oh well you all know the outcome. 5-0 to Australia, despite Stokes and Broad giving it a good go. Broad was actually cheered by Aussies fans for the first time ( obviously glad to see him go).

It was also a big day for Glenn McGrath yesterday at the SCG as everything turned pink for 'The Pink Test. 'Yes even Mitch Johnson coloured his moustache pink ( flipping scary if you ask me!). They all wore their 'baggy pinks' which are currently being auction off on the McGrath Foundation website. Even England wore pink caps. Huge amounts of money was raised for breast cancer nurses in Australia. Great cause.


So do we really need to know what happened blow by blow ( or ball by ball). That will be a no then! Time to move on and focus on sorting the flipping team out!

My new bed was finally delivered yesterday which meant that the much loved, but terribly squeaky bed is ' going the journey'. Sad really as it had been a comfortable bed until it started squeaking like a plague of mice!!!

 Best news of all yesterday was that

THE BLADES BEAT ASTON VILLA 2-1 , this put paid to Villa's FA Cup hopes. Nigel Clough looked positively ecstatic, as was I Lady Lainey as I quickly phoned Dame Didi to give her the news. Ryan Flynn's 81st minute goal did the trick. I bet Sir Sean of Bean was a happy chappy. #chippythenpub


So today as I glance out over the Deer Park here at LT Towers II, it is very very frosty and cold too, so after I have been shopping to get the office boys their lunches for the week ( oh yes back to the grind) I think that I will be snuggled up on the sofa, having a little nap and hoping that when I wake up 'The Ashes fiasco' will all have been a dream..............


short today, back tomorrow!

Saturday, 4 January 2014

Lady Lainey is very flipping busy!




Well I did stay up all night for the cricket and at the lunch break I baked a cake (1.30am UK time). Then went back to England collapsing. And yes Ben Stokes did do well batting but its just the 'Joe Root thing' all over again. How quickly the hacks forget that they were gushing about Joe Root in the same way just over a year ago, and will have done the same with Cook, KP, Bell, Panesar................

....my thoughts are to let Ben develop as a player in his own time, he is 22 and still has years ahead of him if him and will be a great player if he is not 'super elevated' too early! #mythoughtsonly

Anyhoo, After settling down to more of a good hiding by Australia I was listening intently to Geoff Boycott, OK he can be pompous but he speaks as he finds and he finds the whole of the England team ( coaches included) to be in need of a good shake.

England narrowly avoided the follow on and Australia went back in to bat, and although they lost there first wicket at 5.00am ( Warner,16 runs Australia 27-1) and then Watson at 5.20am ( Australia  47-2). Clarke and  Smith went before close of play were they were still put on  140-4. Giving them a lead of  311


Tad cheesed off that  Broad has denied me of the chance to say I told you so by not being seriously 'crocked' this tour!

To be honest when Geoff Boycott said that England do not stand a cat in hells chance of winning, well I am totally behind him.

TMS have been asking for suggestions for England's Man of the Series..........................hmmm let me have a think about that one!.


So what delights does today at the Towers brings. Well I am super flipping busy as ( hopefully ) the  long awaited new bed comes today and I will finally get a good nights sleep.

However that won't be tonight as I am off to spend the evening with Nikki the Naughty, and I may be slightly late in delivering my blog tomorrow if I can't get onto WiFi..#justwarningoinadvance

However there will be no headache as I am totally off the booze for January ( or as long as I can manage) I am 4 days in and judging by the groaning recycling glass bin, going 'dry' has not come a moment too late!!!

And I have decided that I am also going 'dry' all over the cricket season, which means no gulping down copious amounts of over priced, foul tasting wine at The Riveside ( or anywhere else that I happen to be this summer).

So having already baked a cake at stupid o'clock I am off to make some lunch!!! ...........for later!!

Have a great day and a great weekend






Friday, 3 January 2014

Thank goodness it F(ryan)day............






.....................because its not a great day cricket or weather wise. So today I really needed something to cheer me up. yes indeedy a picture from my besty cricket match of last season. The wonderful Scarbados Festival! ( well warming up for cricket!)

I had decided to 'sort' of stay up for the cricket, so went to bed at 8.30pm. Woke up at 12.30am and  was super excited by the fact that England looked good. Borthwick got his chance as did Rankin and Ballance ( at last). However Top Tyke bowler Timmy Bresnan was omitted!!!!
Anyhoo it was looking good as at 1.30am England were 94-4. Then it all started to go wrong. With the wind and rain lashing LT Towers II the comprehension that Australia were ' doing it again' started to materialise.

Yes no matter how hard the bowlers tried, they were being thwarted after dismissing the top order. Smith made 115 with Haddin adding a respectable 75.

Boyd Rankin who had been given his chance to shine, sadly left the field with a hamstring injury. Received some treatment and returned. Only to break down after bowling one ball. Well after 6 weeks 'holiday' in Australia and no cricket its hardly surprising!.

Australia were all out for 326, a great display from the middle and lower order.

England went in to bat and are currently 6-1 with the loss of Carberry's wicket. Sadly I think this is the last time Carberry will be selected, He is a great player and always a delight to watch on the county circuit, but sadly it has been painful watching in the Test arena!.


Other sad news from besty home county of Yorkshire is that Joe Syers is  retiring. Joe has spent all his career with Yorkshire, and last season wrote 'Rose Tinted Summer' The Dressing Room Diary. (Hmmmmm wonder if they will give me access all areas so that I can put quill to paper this summer.................probably not the only paper I will get will be a restraining order!).
Good luck Joe in your future pursuits.


Whilst I have been scribbling here, it is Stumps in Australia with England 8-1.

Outside at LT Towers II the wind and rain is still lashing down and I am  preparing for a 'groggy' day in super swanky Lady Lainey office. yes all the 'wonderful' month end duties to be done and I, Lady Lainey not really wanting to do them!

Oh well only 7 hours to do it in!

Have a great day at work (if you are going) and if not stay indoors as the weather is 'filthy'!




Thursday, 2 January 2014

Back to the grind!!!




Well after a nearly a couple of weeks of doing nothing ( well almost nothing) and lounging around in bed and on sofa's and on the chaise longue, it is time to go back to super swanky freezeroony Lady Lainey office today.
I am guessing that when I get in Pony Paul will have chucked in two days holiday which will leave me with Job the Jolly ( aka Jo Bling) and Trill Boy. OMG I can hardly contain myself!

I could be at home, putting all my treasures on ebay to make lots of pennies for my trip to Marseilles and my flipping huge birthday party which is now  creeping towards 10 months away. lots to organise!

 And talking about getting organised, the 5th and final test begins tonight and England are still holding back on team news. Calls to bring back Prior are rife in the papers, but why bother? Also Panesar is out with an injury!!!( too much nightclubbing???).Meanwhile Rankin , Ballance and Tremlett have been having a super holiday down under and maybe one of them will be called on #earntheirkeep.

Scott Borthwick looks as if he may be included but to be honest at this stage, it wont make any difference but will mix the team up a bit..

The team where out meeting the Australian Prime Minister and pleased to see them all looking very smart.................although some of them look as if they may have over indulged at Xmas ( says she who has gorged herself!).

Captain Cook has also said that it is time for a rebirth of the team ( hurrah he has finally been reading my blog!). And that we cannot rely on the team that is constantly picked. As I have said often enough the team do not play as a 'team' and so shake it up and omit and include different players they have enough in Australia now to choose from. We have lost the Ashes so what have they got to lose, by fielding a completely revised team.

It is way too early in the morning for me to be off on a rant!!!

The former Lord Lainey dropped off our wedding photo's so that we could get some copies of pictures with Grandma Jean and Grandad Derek.
I found loads of lovely pictures that I had forgotten about.




Oh well off to freeze me what nots off and drink copious amounts of coffee, shout at boys and look pretty for 7 hours.
Have a great day.

88 days to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




Wednesday, 1 January 2014

Happy New Year




Happy New Year to you all, it is the time to put all the good, bad and indifferent from 2013 behind us  and move on with a fresh slate

And boy is that what I need. 2013 was a great year but also a rough one for I, Lady Lainey as I realised that I had been poorly quite a lot and not my usual super bouncy self.So here is to a New Year and new start..................except for the fact that my New Year has started with me being exhausted. The usual suspects started letting off fireworks near LT Towers II  at about 10pm and continued infrequently until 3am when  a car with blue lights lit up the street and the fireworks were no more!

So my New Years resolutions are as follows

1. Continue my sponsored  weight loss and make money for The Taking Steps Project

2. Go alcohol free for the whole of January

3. Have the flipping time of my life all year! ( everyone should have that one!)


It  is now only 89 days to the start of the cricket season and I am super excited!!!
The Netherlands cricket team are today flying out to New Zealand for the World Cup qualifiers, good luck to them ( why do you think I have orange hair?)

No more crickety news as I am off to hop in the shower, put clean jim jams on and lounge around all flipping day! I am back in super swanky flipping freezing Lady Lainey office tomorrow.

Happy New Year to you all